


What makes a Human Cardassian?

by AgrippaSpoleto



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: AU after that, Adventure, Cardassian war crimes mentioned, Episode: s05e16 Doctor Bashir I Presume, Friendship, Getting Together, M/M, Marriage of Convenience, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, but not ASIT compliant, character injury, mild Self-harm, nothing graphic though, now Includes illustrations, references to character from ASIT
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-07-06 11:20:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15884997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgrippaSpoleto/pseuds/AgrippaSpoleto
Summary: After having his genetic enhancement exposed Julian Bashir is in danger to lose all that he holds dear. But he is not alone. Elim Garak will not let him face a fate worse than exile without fighting for his lunch companion. Together with the doctor's friends he uses every tool at his disposal - not knowing that they will change the face of the Alpha quadrant for years to come.





	1. Chapter one - Biology is Destiny

**Author's Note:**

> This baby is my first multi chaptered fic ever and was inspired by a book on feminist and queer critique of bioarchaeology (You will find the citation at the beginning of this chapter and a few more times probably). This book changed my perspective on the world and my scientific thinking profoundly and it also gave me a starting point to critically look at my favourite TV show and characters. I always loved the twist with Julian's enhancements but when I finally watched DS9 fully I was apauled how the writers handled that aspect of Julian's character.  
> I wanted to use some of the concepts I met in my readings to study the trauma of Julian's enhancements and the impact they had on his life and his personality. What resulted was not the planned one shot but this multi chaptered madness. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> Betaed by my good friends captainviolet and pity-like, your imputs are always valued.  
> Disclaimer: I don't own these characters and worlds, they would make different decisions if I did. No money made.

_Geneticization – an ongoing process by which differences between individuals are reduced to their DNA code, with most disorders, behaviours and physiological variations defined, at least in part, as genetic in origin. Inasmuch as we live in a society that is far from utopic – beleagured by sexist, racist and homophobic, and transphobic beliefs – the social value placed on biological information runs the risk of advantaging and normalizing certain groups while discriminating against and further stigmatizing „Others“ (Pamela L. Geller, The Bioarchaeology of Socio-Sexual Lives. Queering Common Sense About Sex, Gender, and Sexuality. Springer 2017, 211)._

 

„ _You're so smart. You know so much that you can stand there and judge us. But you're still not smart enough to see that we saved you from a lifetime of remedial education and underachievement!“_

He couldn‘t stay one second longer in that room. His hands were shaking and the urge to punch the wall, to hurt that shell that meant more to his parents than he ever did, was overwhelming.

Without excusing himself or explaining his hasted departure Julian Bashir left his quarters and his parents behind. He didn‘t know where he was going. The only thing that mattered was getting away from his parents.

At some point he found himself in a secluded corner with a port hole into the vastness of space. The young doctor leaned against the glass and stared out to the stars, tears prickling in his eyes. He felt as if – for a second time in his life – his whole sense of self had been taken from him. It wasn‘t enough that not even his closest friends hadn‘t realised that a changeling had replaced him. No, now he wouldn‘t just be Julian anymore. They would only see his genetic make up from now on.

His personality, as stupid, insensitive and uncritical he sometimes was, he was still Julian. His genetic status shouldn‘t change that. But neither should his so-called deficiencies have. He had tried to find out what the nature of these deficiencies was but it had been an impossible enterprise. It had rendered an almost unending list of possibilities. Who decided what was normal, what was desirable?

Geneticization was one word, eugenics an other. The process that had started on 20th century earth. Blinded by the technological development, humanity had believed to have found the answer to human nature in the genome. At least the dominant Western Biomedical paradigm believed it.

Julian stroked his hand over his face realising that his cheeks were wet. Seeing his reflection in the glass he turned his face away. His head bumped hard against the metal frame of the port hole but Julian didn‘t care. The pain helped, it was something else to think about. He balled his right hand into a fist and let it crash into the metall wall. Again. And again.

And suddenly another hand stopped his. Julian looked up enraged only to meet a pair of blue eyes. Garak‘s unreadable gaze seemed to penetrate him.

„What do you think are you doing, Doctor?“

Julian didn‘t answer and tried to wrench his hand out of the Cardassian‘s iron grip but his friend would not let him go.

„Excuse my impertinence, my Dear, but I would be a rather poor friend if I did let you continue in this manner!“

Julian lowered his gaze trying to hide his wet cheeks.

„Let it go, please.“ His voice was small and quiet. Both knew that he meant more than just his captured hand.

Garak‘s hand wavered above the doctor‘s face, just a hair breath shy of touching the skin.

„I can‘t, Doctor. Besides, if you were you in my place you couldn‘t either. And I would know.“

Julian didn‘t react to Garak‘s words even though he knew it would worry the Cardassian deeply.

„If it was me, ... when it was me in this situation, you did everything in your power to help me. A lot more than what was necessary or safe… Please let me return the favour. Julian.“

The sound of his chosen name from Garak‘s lips shook the doctor to his core. A series of loud sobs escaped him. Julian let himself fall into the Cardassian‘s arms and grabbed his tunic. Garak froze at first but recovered fast. He hugged the sobbing Doctor close whispering to him.

Julian didn‘t know how long they remained like this. But for the first time in months he felt safe. Deep Space Nine and its residents had become his home and he liked the person he had become. Julian Bashir, CMO, occasional secret agent but foremost a Human being with a capacity for kindness and growth. He didn‘t want to lose all of that again.

„I‘m scared...“ said the young officer. Even though his voice was quiet it felt to Julian as if he was screaming from the top of his lungs.

„Of what, my dear?“ Garak carded his hand through the doctor‘s unruly hair.

„Of everyone. And me. … But mostly … them. I don‘t want to lose my home and myself.“

Garak raised one of his eyeridges in question.

„Excuse me, Doctor, but what brought this on? The internment camp? Listen to me, it‘s over. You‘re home safely. And we all, especially me, are glad and happy for it.“

He grabbed Julian‘s face in both hands and forced the Human to look at him.

„This is real. Your are here, on Terok Nor … Deep Space Nine, with me. No Changelings, no Jem Hadar, just us, plain and simple.“

Julian‘s hands clawed themselves into the tailor‘s arm and wrist.

„But that‘s it. You are not plain and simple. And neither am I.“

He sighed.

„Come next dawn, I will not only lose my friends, my home, my job but also my freedom. Because of who I am. No, because of who I was made to be.“

„I must confess, I don‘t follow. Why would the Federation take away your freedom - from what you told me – essentially your citizenship, for seemingly no reason at all?“

Julian tried to push away from Garak‘s embrace but the Cardassian wouldn‘t let him go.

„Then let me give you a history lesson… At the end of the 20th century Human scientists tried to create the perfect Human by tampering with their genetic material. What they really created was a new race of supersoldiers: Augments. The ghosts that haunt every Humans‘ nightmare. Perhaps you‘re familiar with Khan Noonien Singh?“

Garak nodded and for once Julian could see the Cardassians confusion plainly in the expression he wore.

„Well, Garak, the Eugenic wars resulted in a clear stand against genetic engineering. Humans mustn‘t try to rectify nature‘s errors or try to be something they aren‘t destined to be. But tell me Garak, what makes a Human human?“

Julian‘s anxiety and desperation was clearly palpable.

„From a Cardassian perspective a Human is a person descended from the aliens that evolved on the third planet of the Sol System, designated Earth, Sector 001. Not that complicated.“

Julian opened his mouth to contradict Garak but the tailor raised his hand.

„Let me finish, Dear. I am perfectly aware, that there are different cultures on Earth and the uniformity Starfleet tries to convey doesn‘t reflect the Human reality. But it is not necessary to lose one‘s cultural or familial background to be part of a greater unity.“

„Says the Cardassian...“ A small part of the Doctor‘s bite was back. Garak gently took one of Julian‘s hand in his while leaving the other on his friends face.

„Now, Doctor. That was uncalled for. We Cardassians aren‘t without cultural differences either. But you still haven‘t explained to me why you‘re on the verge of losing your freedom?“

Julian tried to lower his gaze again, but the tailor‘s hand on his face stopped him.

„I‘m sorry, Julian, but I just don‘t understand“ he said softly.

„I‘m a freak, Garak, not human. When I was six years old my parents decided that they didn‘t like how I was developing so they had me changed for a better model. When I came back I was smarter, taller, stronger...“

Julian stared at a point behind Garak, not able to focus on anything else.

„They enhanced me. My parents had decided that my genetic set up wasn‘t going to turn out the way they wanted so they changed it. The technical term is 'accelerated critical neural pathway formation‘.“

The doctor‘s voice was hoarse and his body had started to tremble. Garak tucked the doctor‘s head under his chin and rubbed his back soothingly.

„They made me a completely new person, Garak. They killed the little boy I was.“

„I can‘t believe that, Doctor. We Cardassians don‘t believe that our genes – besides the fact that hereditary processes are more complicated than mere genetics – are the most important determinant of what makes us, well Cardassians. Only through our cultural heritage and the state‘s guidance we become good citizens and that is what makes us Cardassians and not for example Klingons. Perish the thought.“

A mock shudder run through Garak‘s body and a small smile appeared on Julian‘s face.

„I hope you haven‘t forgotten Captain Picard‘s discovery that Klingons, Romulans, Cardassians and Humans have a small genetic present to remind us that we all have – at least on the biochemical level – a connection to each other.“ quipped the doctor.

„Federation propaganda no doubt. To ensure us all of the genetic fate that lies in all our cells: The unification of the Alpha Quadrant.“

Julian rolled his eyes and let a rather undignified snort escape. The Cardassian didn‘t stop smiling fondly at him.

„Let me assure you, Doctor, there‘s no need for genes to convince me of a connection with you.“

Julian looked up at him, a very small, but hopeful smile on his lips.

„So, you‘re not angry with me for lying to you? For concealing who I am?“

„First of all, I‘m really in no position to – what is that colourful Terran saying? – throw stones at you for lying to me. And second, did you really conceal who you are? Are you really someone else than that brilliant sometimes infuriating young doctor with a fondness for bad holonovels and no fashion sense what so ever?“

Garak held the doctor‘s gaze.

„I like the person that I am now, actually. I wish that I didn‘t have to second guess every action to make sure that nobody notices that I‘m not a normal Human, but… at some point I stopped hiding behind my persona and started living it. And I like this Julian Bashir who takes the time to get know somebody before he jumps into a relationship headfirst. Who learns and thinks about different cultures, their customs and tries to respect them as best as he can. Who actually grew as a person. I don‘t really want to be somebody else.“

„Then don‘t.“

Julian‘s eyes widened.

„How? While it‘s sometimes useful and fun to be stronger, smarter and more accurate than others, sometimes it even saves lives, I can‘t help but hate it. There are times when I wish wasn‘t emprisoned in this body. I don‘t always want to use my full potential. I don‘t really want to know exactly how I can beat the Chief in a game of three dimensional chess in 23 moves or how good or bad my odds at the dabo table are. I couldn‘t care less about knowing the exact shade of green of Ambassador Troi‘s shawl when she last visited Odo. Nor do I want to remember every detail about the cell I was in when the Jem Hadar put me in isolation. But I do. So tell me Garak, how do I keep being me when suddenly I am so different to before?“

The doctor‘s fire was returning.

„While the perception of you might change with this revelation that doesn‘t mean that you aren‘t still the same. It‘s about what‘s in the inside or so the Terran literature you keep foistering on me tries to tell me. You are still the same man I knew an hour ago. You have a good heart and I think that‘s probably the only thing your friends and I will ever agree on. Of course I am a sentimental fool – Tain‘s rolling in his grave no doubt – and utterly biased when it comes to your person; I‘m quite certain that your friends will react the same. Commander Dax and Chief O‘Brien are very fond of you and they will do everything to keep you with them. As will I.“

Julian thankfully squeezed Garak‘s hand. His body was exhausted and his right hand started to hurt from the abuse he had put it through earlier.

„My Dear, please let me take you to my quarters. I‘m cold and you are exhausted. Besides that hand of yours needs medical attention and you‘re lucky that I know a good physician.“

The doctor, too tired to argue and not really in the mood to get back to his own quarters that still didn‘t feel like his own, let the Cardassian lead him through the station to the Habitat Ring.

 ***

Garak set Julian down on the bed before tending to his friend‘s hand. He didn‘t say anything knowing too well that sometimes only pain could shut up all the terrible voices in one‘s head. When the Cardassian was satisfied with the condition of Julian‘s hand, he gave his friend a pair of comfortable pyjamas and went to sleep on the couch.

„Garak? Could you stay? I don‘t want to be alone. It reminds me too much of the solitary confinement.“

Not really capable of denying Julian anything Garak slipped into the small bed. His friend shuffled close, so that their arms and sides touched.

„Is that okay?“ asked the Human shyly.

Garak turned so that he could press his forehead to Julian‘s.

„More than okay. Now go to sleep. You need it. I‘ll be here with you.“

He rubbed his nose softly on that of the doctor as a sign of affection and lay down on his back. Garak‘s left hand came to rest on Julian‘s chest to remain there as he slept.

After a few minutes the doctor‘s breaths evened out. He had fallen asleep. Garak sighed knowing that sleep wouldn‘t come easy this night. His heart broke for his lunch companion. He had noticed that the young officer was a bit more observant than the average human, that his reflexes were a bit more pronounced, his memory a bit better. But he had chalked that up to his sentimental affection biasing his perception of the Human. The possibility of genetic engineering hadn‘t even crossed his mind. How could it? A Cardassian would never begrudge someone the chance of serving his state better. But one‘s life wasn‘t written in the genome alone. Genes were just the ground on which a good citizen‘s seed would take roots and with the right care and education that seed would became one of the many trees that constructed the foundation of Cardassian society. It was a family‘s responsability to keep the soil fertile but different environments needed different soils. And what would erode on one continent might thrive on another. A person could fail the state but their genes alone couldn‘t. And Julian didn‘t deserve to be exiled for a decision his parents made years ago. Garak would make sure of that.

With that thought in his mind he finally fell asleep surrounded by the warmth of his mammalian bed companion.

 


	2. Chapter two – From Hell‘s Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta read by Captainviolet and Pity-Like. I love you, guys!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own these characters and worlds, they would make different decisions if I did. No money made.

_Bio-Power – the concept seeks to explain the development of techniques for supervising and regulating bodies. As a consequence of the emergence of Biomedicine in the 17th century physicians were granted the right to „make live“. Thus implied is the normative value that signifies certain lives as worth of enhancing and prolonging, while others must be eradicated or transformed beyond recognition (after Pamela L. Geller, The Bioarchaeology of Socio-Sexual Lives. Queering Common Sense About Sex, Gender, and Sexuality. Springer 2017, 32)._

 

For the first time since his exile Garak was warm. A comfortable, bone deep warmth. He tried to snuggle deeper into it but something was missing. He sat up straight in the bed.

„Julian?“

There was no answer.

„Computer, locate Doctor Bashir!“

„ _Doctor Bashir is in Captain Sisko‘s Office.“_

Garak groaned. „By all the Hebitian gods bleeding in the underbellies of Vasha! That idiot! Stupid _Federaji_ idealistic nonsense!“

Still muttering he threw on his clothes and stalked to one of the panels that adorned his quarters. It didn‘t take long to hack into the security feed of Sisko‘s office. The sound of an older man desperately pleading to the image of a Starfleet admiral filled the room.

„ _Admiral, you can‘t be serious! This whole situation isn‘t our son‘s fault. I decided to take him to Adigeon Prime. I should be the one to take responsibility for it.“_

„ _I‘m sorry, Mr Bashir, but the Federation law as well as Starfleet regulations are clear on this. Captain Sisko, make sure that you detain the former doctor and his parents. A transport to collect them is already on its way. Bennet out.“_

Cursing under his breath Garak ended the transmission and stormed out of his quarters in the direction of ops.

Garak ran as fast as he could, ignoring the furious looks of several people who had to jump out of his path. When the turbolift finally arrived in ops he saw Chief O‘Brien and Commander Dax already waiting on the platform before Sisko‘s office. It took one look at their faces to see the anxiety and trepidation. Garak approached the two officers carefully.

„I take it the both of you are aware of what is transpiring in the Captain‘s office?“

Dax nodded while the Chief looked at the Cardassian with suspicion.

„How did you come to know about it?“

„If you need to know the Doctor told me. Now if you excuse me, I need to go in there.“

The Chief stopped him by grabbing his arm.

„Don‘t. You‘ll only make a bad situation worse.“

Before Garak could answer somebody cleared his throat behind them.

„Could you please step aside? Captain Sisko has ordered my presence in his office.“

Constable Odo waited till Garak moved out of his path and then continued into the Captain‘s office. The Cardassian leaned in to whisper to Chief O‘Brien: „The situation is already worse.“

With that he wrenched his arm free from O‘Brien‘s grasp and followed the Constable.

„Odo, I need you to take Doctor Bashir and his parents into custody for a code 5 violation of article 49 of the Federation charta“ said Captain Sisko when Garak entered the office space. The Commanding officer of Deep Space Nine turned to Julian and put his hand on the doctor‘s shoulder apologetically.

„I‘m sorry, Doctor, I really wish I didn‘t have to do this.“

Julian just nodded while his parents stood in the background looking defeated.

„Benjamin, you can‘t be serious!“

Dax pushed past to step between Captain Sisko and the doctor.

„We have to stop this. There has to be another option!“

Benjamin Sisko looked very tired – as if he was carrying a great weight on his shoulders. In that moment he did.

„I‘m sorry, old man. It seems that we‘re out of options this time. I have my orders.“

While Dax and Sisko were arguing, Garak went to Julian and pulled him into an embrace.

„We‘re going to help you, my dear Doctor. We … I won‘t let them take you!“

The doctor squeezed back, his voice trembling.

„Don‘t, Garak. I‘m not worth it.“

For the second time in 24 hours Garak grabbed Julian‘s face in hands.

„That, my dear, is entirely my decision to make and I‘ve already made up my mind. You know how stubborn I can be.“

Despite the circumstances Julian had to smile. The tailor pressed his forehead to the doctor‘s before Odo pulled the human away. Seeing the Constable taking the Bashirs away felt like a punch into his guts and for a moment Garak had to fight for breath.

„Don‘t worry Garak, we won‘t give up on him.“

He turned his head and saw Commander Dax with a hard look of determination on her face.

„Damn right we are. Since Starfleet has decided to be tossers about this situation, we‘ll have to stop them from making a dire mistake. We will not let anything happen to one of ours.“

O‘Brien had joined the two of them.

„We‘re in agreement then?“ said Garak with a hint of his usual smirk.

O‘Brien huffed. „Funnily enough we are.“

„While I enjoy this rare moment of Cardassian Federation bonding I must ask you to leave my office. If you three must play musketeers I would prefer for it to happen somewhere I don‘t have to hear about it.“ The Captain sent them a stern look. „Plausible deniability seems vital in this particular case.“ With that he herded them out of his office.

***

The limited space and the quiet buzzing of the force field were slowly driving Julian out of his mind. It wasn't comparable to the solitary confinement in the Dominion internment camp - Odo had been very lenient and had let his friends visit as much as possible. He even had allowed Garak to give him a padd with a few selected yet banned Cardassian novels (including the infamous 'Private Labyrinth of Gul Dinset'). But even that couldn't stop his brain from circling around the impending loss of this friends and his home. The fact that his parents were in the cell next to his – they had been separated after it nearly had come to blows between Julian and his father – wasn't conducive to his mental health either.

After Sisko had come to inform them that the transport for Earth would arrive in two days, tensions had started to rise again. The older Bashir had tried several times to plead to Julian to not give up, much to the doctor's chagrin.

"We're Bashirs. You're not like most augments. The treatment worked, you don't suffer from any undesirable side effects. We can fight this!"

Julian gaped at him.

"So others deserve to be locked away because they do not fit into your world view? No wonder you had me enhanced. You must have been so ashamed by your deficient little son!"

„Don‘t you dare speak about yourself that way! You don't know. You've never had a child“, Amsha replied. Julian hadn‘t seen his mother this passionate in years. His mother wasn't a submissive woman but she often got lost under Richard Bashir's exuberant personality and his need for her constant support.

„You don't know what it's like to watch your son. To watch him fall a little further behind every day. You know he's trying, but something's holding him back. You don't know what it's like to stay up every night worrying that maybe it's your fault. Maybe you did something wrong during the pregnancy, maybe you weren't careful enough, or maybe there's something wrong with you. Maybe you passed on a genetic defect without even knowing it.“

„Amsha...“, his father tried to put his arm around his mother to calm her, but she stepped out of his reach.

„No, Richard, this is important! You can condemn us for what we did. You can say it's illegal or immoral or whatever you want to say, but you have to understand that we didn't do it because we were ashamed, but because you were our son and we loved you.“

„Then why didn‘t you show me that love? You continued to form me the way you considered best. Always afraid that your secret would come out and never considering what your decisions meant for me! I had no family besides the two of you because you told my aunties and cousins that I was dead. I never saw my Gran again and now I never will. Just because you did it out of love doesn‘t mean it was the right decision, mother.“

Amsha had tears wetting her cheeks and tried to reach out to her son but the force field separated them.

„You never protected me when it really mattered, mum. I appreciate what you both tried to do today and I‘m glad you told me the truth but I can‘t forgive you. I love you but I also hate you.“

„You apologise to your mother right now!“ Richard screamed at his son but Amsha stopped him.

„Don‘t. Julian‘s right. We gave him the chance to a life he probably wouldn‘t have been able to lead if we didn‘t enhance him. But we also took away a lot – not only our family but also the freedom to truly do whatever he wanted – we need to accept the consequences of our actions. And one of these consequences is that our son will never feel truly safe with us. That‘s on us, not on the procedure or Julian‘s intelligence. On me and on you, Richard!“

His mother hadn‘t often taken his side completely – especially not against his father – but when she did Amsha was fierce in her conviction. And in that moment Julian knew why he still loved her despite the resentment he felt for both his parents.

"Can I come to you, Jules? Julian? Please? I would like to hug you. Like I used to do, when you were younger." His mother pleaded. Julian nodded and asked one of the guards to call for Odo. The changeling supervised Amsha's change of cells and then excused himself.

It was strange to be hugged by his mother. He felt her affection and in this moment he believed that she had never been ashamed of him. The same couldn't be said for his father. After a short while - probably a lot shorter than his mother would have hoped - Julian disengaged from her embrace and sat down on the bench.

"I'm sorry, mum. It's not that easy. You can't solve my problems with a hug anymore."

His mother nodded with a sad smile and sat next to him leaving a bit of space between them.

"You're right. But someone else may be capable of giving you more comfort than me. You have very loyal friends. Tell me more about them. I would love to know about the life you built here."

Julian snorted.

"Now that I'm about to loose them all you want to know about my life? Great timing!"

"Don't be unfair, Julian. I asked about your life plenty of times in my letters and you chose not to answer. You can't begrudge me for wanting to know more about your life here. I mean you're friends with a Cardassian? How did that happen?"

At first he thought that his mother disapproved of his friendship with Garak but when he studied Amsha's face Julian could only see curiosity.

"Well, it happened when I was only a few weeks on the station. He came up to me while I was eating lunch and minding my own business..." Julian smiled fondly at the memory. He hadn't realised how much he had wanted to tell anyone about his life. For the first time in over 15 years they sat together and she listened to his excited narrating.

He had just finished his tale about the foiled terrorist attack with an account of Garak giving him the first Cardassian novel to read.

"He sounds like an interesting fellow." His mother smiled, amused by his story.

"He is. I haven't even told you about the time he broke into my quarters in the middle of the night to go to Bajor." Julian had to laugh at the memory.

"You are really naive. He obviously sees you as a means to get to information about the Federation." commented his father from the other cell.

"Richard, you have no idea what you're talking about.", retorted his mother, slightly annoyed.

"I don't know if I ever told you this but I had to stand up with a poster that had "Richard, do you want to go out with me?" written on it for him to get that I was interested in him. He has no clue when it comes to matters of the heart."

While his father sputtered Julian burst out into laughter.

"You have, mum. Many, many times", said the doctor, and then the rest of her words registered in his brain. "Matters of the heart? I don't quite follow, mum. What has that to do with Garak?"

Amsha touched his arm.

"Despite of the distance between us I still know you. I know how my son acts when he likes someone. Even if he has very strange tastes."

Julian blushed furiously.

"And from what I have seen of your friend and from what little you have just told me I have a very strong feeling that he cares a lot about you too. Let's call it a mother's intuition."

Julian groaned and hid his face his hands.

"This isn't fair. I've never let myself think of him that way but when I saw him in the camp I couldn't help myself. I've never been so happy to see someone in my entire life before. And when we came back I decided to think about it. Properly. Not just rushing into anything because I can't lose him again. But I also wanted to understand what I feel before I said anything. And now time's run out."

This time when his mother embraced him he didn't refuse the comfort she offered. It still felt strange to be so close to her but there was also a small part in Julian who had missed his mother deeply. While their conversation hadn't solved their problems Julian knew they could at least go on. He didn't know if he could ever truly forgive them both for having him enhanced but he realised that it wasn't necessary. He could love and hate them at the same time and that was okay.

***

The days after Julian‘s incarceration passed in a blur for Garak. He had visited Julian a few times and – in an attempt to cheer the doctor up – given him a different selection of Cardassian novels. Books he had enjoyed as a youth, most of them banned and some even considered un-Cardassian. But they all knew that the incarceration weighted heavy on their friend. Besides trying to keep Julian sane, he, Commander Dax and Chief O‘Brien kept busy gathering data on other cases of exposed augments as well as planning for the ‚worst case‘.

This evening saw Garak and O’Brien hunched over a console in Jadzia Dax‘s quarters just as the Trill returned from a visit of the cells.

„If Julian could see the the two of you now. Thick as thieves.“

Garak looked up into Dax‘s mischievious eyes.

„It‘s a lot easier when the person who we share an affection for is in trouble.“

The Chief nodded before going back to the files. Garak turned to Jadzia.

„How is he?“

She sighed.

„As well as someone who recently came back from a month in a prison camp just to be incarcerated by his own people can be, I guess.“

Jadzia went over to the replicator and ordered a raktajino.

„Do you two want something too?“

The Chief answered in the negative while Garak asked for a red leaf tea.

„At least his parents and him seemed to be on better terms. His mother is actually very nice. I think she likes you, Garak.“

The Trill winked at the tailor.

„I must have done something wrong then.“

Jadzia snorted and came over to the console.

„Have you found anything?“, she asked while passing Garak the mug with red leaf tea.

„No“, groaned O‘Brien, his spine popping when he straightened up. „It‘s unbelievable. I looked through several cases of ‚illegal augmentation‘. All of them were declared politically immature and immediately shipped into a facility specialised in the care and study of augmented individuals. I understand that some of them have physical or behavioural difficulties but this treatment seems very harsh and final to me. They‘re basically incarcerated in a mental hospital for life. Who says that they even get the proper care?“

Garak agreed. „It‘s very disconcerting how their digital footprints disappear after they arrive in those facilities. Very few visitations, barely any letters. It reminds me more of the methods of an Obsidian Order or Tal Shiar than of the all benevolent Federation.“

The Chief huffed. „You‘d know everything about that, wouldn‘t you?“

„Chief, are we still under the misguided impression that I am an Agent of the Obsidian Order? You mustn‘t believe everything the good Doctor tells you, especially when it comes to espionage...“ Garak winked at him while grinning, knowing it would infuriate O‘Brien even further.

Before the Chief could answer they were interrupted by Jadzia‘s chiding voice.

„Stop it, both of you! We don‘t have time for this juvenile non-sense.

Both men visibly straightened up as Dax continued.

„You‘re right though, Garak. The whole thing stinks. Who knows where they‘ll put Julian and what these „studies“ entail.“

The Cardassian nodded. „I completely agree with you, Commander. I don‘t trust them with our dear doctor. We must make sure that he never falls into their hands.“

„Not so fast, you two coyboys“, the Chief said. „They can‘t just take Julian and experiment on him. He still has rights!“

„Don‘t be so naive, Chief. Who would listen to a crazed augment when it‘s their word against a warden or an officer?“

„I‘m afraid Garak‘s right, Miles.“ Jadzia handed O‘Brien a padd with an open medical file. It showed the picture of a bearded man of Julian‘s age.

„This is Jack Merryweather. His augmentations resulted in what the doctors described as nervous ticks and other so-called atypical behaviour patterns. Two years ago he was transferred to a different facility on Mars. He managed to have several letters to his sister smuggled out. He writes about excessive experimentations, testing his endurances with electrical shock therapy and whatnot. His sister filed several complaints but the letters were dismissed as paranoia in relation to the augmentations.“

The Chief read through the file and the few news feed articles.

„How did you find this?“

Garak took the padd from the Chief and answered: „Let‘s say it won‘t have any weight as evidence in the Federation council.“

O‘Brien groaned again but before he could answer, one of the consoles chirped and Jadzia went over to pull up the transmission.

„Benjamin just forwarded this message to me.“

The screen showed a blond man in a shuttle craft.

„ _Captain Sisko, my name is Luther Sloane. I‘m on my way to you to collect the augment. The necessary codes are embedded in this message. I will arrive in 48 hours and hope that you will have the prisoner ready by then. Sloan out._ “

The Chief cursed. „Our time window just became a lot shorter.“

At this moment went the chime of the door off. They all looked at each other and spurred into action. Garak shut the terminals off while Miles hid the various padds containing their research. As soon as the evidence was hidden, Jadzia opened the door and came face to face with a stern looking Major Kira.

„Nerys, how nice of you to stop by this evening!“

„Good evening, Jadzia. Can I come in?“

The Trill cringed a bit.

„Now is really not a good time. Garak‘s made me a new dress and we‘re testing the fit. It‘s supposed to be a surprise...“

Garak rolled his eyes when the Major‘s amused voice came from the open door.

„I think you could use another pair of eyes for your fitting, Commander. It would be a shame if it did disappoint Julian, wouldn‘t it?“

The Chief sighed and said: „Let her come in.“

Kira stepped into the room and sat into one of the armchairs.

„I assume you saw Starfleet‘s message?“

The three of them nodded.

„So did I. We need to move quickly. I have found a way to help Julian.“

***

The computer called 0600 hours as Kira Nerys, Odo and Captain Sisko waited at airlock 5 for the transport with Luther Sloan to arrive. All of them wore grim faces and the finality of the situation was palpable. The airlock opened and Sloan stepped into the station. Luther Sloan, no rank at all. Kira didn't like him from the first moment they breathed the same air. His arrogant demeanour reminded her too much of Dukat.

After they exchanged the usual pleasantries and introductions, Sloan insisted to be brought to the holding cells immediately. In a brisk stride they walked through the station.

When they came into the view of the holding area everything seemed in order. At least from the outside. Sometimes Kira asked herself what Garak would have done if he actually wanted to harm them but she dismissed the thought. This was not the time for idle speculation. As soon as they entered into the cell block it was clear that something was wrong. Lieutenant Roshar, one of the guards on duty, was leaning against the doorframe and the same with Ensign Domanti on the opposite wall. The cells were all empty.

„What is going on, Constable?“, the Captain turned to Odo, seemingly furious.

„I have no idea, Captain. When I left the Bashirs all security measures were still intact.“

Kira went over to one of the guards and knelt down to check her pulse.

„They appear to be stunned, Captain.“

She stood up again just as Sloan started to speak.

„You are aware that this will have consequences. Everyone involved in this will be tried for assisting a criminal, maybe even for treason.“

His calm demeanour sent shivers down the Major‘s spine. Something about his reaction was off. She just couldn‘t put her finger on what.

Odo had completed his round of the crime scene and commed his security teams.

„Odo to all security officers. Close down the station. I repeat, the station is on lockdown effective immediately. No ship is allowed to leave!“

„ _Yes, sir. Three ships were just cleared for take off. Two Bajoran transports and an Iridian freighter. Are we to revoke the permission?“_

Odo turned to Sisko and the Captain sighed.

„Do it, Constable.“

„Affirmative. Keep me informed. Odo out.“

The next hours were abuzz with activity. The two Bajoran transports had returned without a fuss but the freighter had refused to turn around. A targeting scan revealed the signals of Julian and his parents. Suddenly Sloan sprung into action and never before had Kira been that glad that the Defiant was on a training mission.

"You must send out ships after that freighter!"

"The only ships at our disposal at the moment are the Bajoran transport ships. The Defiant is on a mission right now."

Sloan glared at her. "Then send those."

Kira shook her head. „They are not sufficiently armed.“

Captain came over to the command console in the middle of ops.

„Can we ask Bajor for reinforcements?“

Kira shook her head. "Bajor‘s treaty with the Federation doesn't oblige us to extradite fugitives for crimes that are none in Bajoran law. They‘re already spread thin because of the war aid."

Sloan raised his eyebrow. "Maybe it helps if you tell them that I will make sure that Bajor stands alone if they don't comply!"

Kira couldn‘t believe what she was hearing. "You'd really risk another Dominion outpost here right in front of the wormhole because of one Human fugitive?"

She could feel how she was going to lose her temper. Sloan stayed infuriatingly calm.

"He's not Human! Why would Bajor really risk another occupation for an abomination?"

The major was just about to launch into furious rebuke when they were hailed.

„ _Captain Sisko, this is the IKS Rotarran. Permission to dock?“_

„General Martok, what a pleasant surprise. Permission granted.“ Sisko answered, genuinely happy to see the Klingon.

„General, what‘s the status of your ship?“ Kira tapped into the conversation.

„ _We‘re here to gather a few supplies, otherwise the ship is fully functional with minimal damage.“_

„Could you do us a favour?“ The Major smiled to the General.

After a few negotiations Kira was on the way to the airlock to board the Rotarran, so she could follow the Iridian freighter. She was on edge. The fact that Sloan had not fought her for her place on board of the Klingon ship had surprised her. The whole plan seemed to work a bit too smoothly. They had to tread carefully. But for now she had a boat to catch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The infamous 'Private Labyrinth of Gul Dinset' is an invention of [KanarandTarkaleanTea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KanarandTarkaleanTea/pseuds/KanarandTarkaleanTea), author of one of my favourite Garashir fics ever: [A Handful of Dates](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KanarandTarkaleanTea/pseuds/KanarandTarkaleanTea).  
> It's super fluffy and tries to incorporate aspects of Arabian history, Middle Eastern and Maghrebian culture.
> 
> EDIT: I have completely forgotten to mention something important! Jack's last name "Merryweather" is a headcanon by [Cyrelia-j](https://cyrelia-j.tumblr.com/), which she shared on tumblr. She also has an AO3 account [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyrelia_J/pseuds/Cyrelia_J). Thank you so much for your lovely comment on the first chapter!


	3. Chapter three - Romance is Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was as always betaed by my friends captainviolet and pity-like.  
> I'm a bit nervous about this part but it's also one of my favourite things I wrote in this story. Mostly because the characters decided a lot themselves and I kinda lost control, so a lot of things happend a bit faster than anticipated. Kira is especially fun to write (I hope she isn't to much OOC...).  
> Now enough of my babbling. Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own these characters and worlds, they would make different decisions if I did. No money made.

_Heteronormativity_ – _the concept names the institutionalisation of dualistic, deterministic beliefs and refers to the effects of an ideological and structural system that regulates the expression and practice of gender and sexuality, they point to the ways in which the binoary public/private operates in relation to the privileging and excluding of particular desires, practices, feelings and bodies. (Pamela L. Geller, The Bioarchaeology of Socio-Sexual Lives. Queering Common Sense About Sex, Gender, and Sexuality. Springer 2017, 6)._

 

Julian Bashir groaned as he crawled out of the container. A Klingon officer, who had introduced herself as Chul‘at of the House of G‘gika helped him stand up. The space had been cramped and his back hated him for it. But their plan had worked. He was on board of the IKS Rotarran just as Garak had promised. The Klingon handed Julian a satchel with water and the Doctor drank greedily. She heaved Garak out. The Cardassian looked almost peaceful in his sleep but the Doctor knew this was only because of the sedative Garak had injected himself with. Chul‘at handed Julian a hypospray and he gave his friend the antidote for the sedative.

„Doctor? Is that you?“ The tailor came slowly back to himself.

„I‘m here, Garak. How do you feel?“

Garak blinked a few times and looked around at the Spartan interior of the Rotarran‘s cargo bay to the Klingon woman standing beside the Doctor.

„Surprisingly warm.“ The Doctor snorted.

„Klingon ships are definitely built for battle not for leisure, I‘ll give you that“. Julian smiled at his friend and turned at Chul‘at. „Could you tell the General that we‘re up? My friend here needs a few moments to properly wake up.“

She grunted in reply but left the cargo bay.

„Thank you, Doctor, for giving me a bit of privacy.“

„You‘re welcome, Garak.“ Julian shook his head in awe. „I can‘t believe that you broke me out of my cell, dragged yourself through several jeffries tubes – despite your claustrophobia I might add – just to hide me and yourself in an empty supply container, while high on sedatives.“

„My dear Doctor, this was a purely selfish act on my part. My lunches would have been terribly boring without you to argue with“, said the Cardassian haughtily while Julian laughed. „What I don‘t understand is, why I had to show you the report on Merryweather before you finally agreed to escape your predicament.“

The Doctor sighed. „It may sound weird to you, but I know the rules and the consequences for breaking them. I had accepted these consequences. The only reason I conceded was that they obviously aren‘t playing by the rules either.“

Garak laid his hand on the Human‘s arm. „Don‘t you always tell me that there is a difference between law and justice? That any unjust law demands resistance? Then why don‘t you grant yourself the same courtesy?“

Julian touched Garaks hand, laying his on top of the Cardassians. „I‘m not quite sure if the rules are unjust in this case. Humanity has a right to protect itself. If my life is what it takes then so be it.“

Garak smiled sadly at him. „How very Cardassian of you, Doctor.“

At this moment Major Kira and General Martok entered the area and Julian got up.

„Martok, I‘m so glad to see you!“

„Doctor!“, the booming voice of the one eyed Klingon filled the room. „What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into now?“

Julian winced, but Martok would have none of it.

„Stop it, my friend. We Klingons may not be the most welcoming when it comes to people who are … different, but we tend to judge someone by their actions. And you, Doctor, have long since proven to me that you‘re an honourable man.“

Garak had joined the General‘s side and gave Julian a pointed look while mouthing „What did I tell you?“. Julian lowered his head bashfully but smiling. The Cardassian squeezed the Doctors arm, then turned to Kira.

„What‘s the next step, Major?“

“In about ten minutes we will take a turn over Bajor, coinciding with the scheduled return of the USS Portland and the opening of the wormhole. This should scramble the station‘s sensors enough to covertly beam the three of us into the Ministrial residence.“ She sighed. „I hope Dax‘s signal fools them long enough. I don‘t trust this Sloan fellow, he seems shifty somehow. We‘ll need to keep vigilance. Our plan worked a bit too smoothly for my liking.“

Garak nodded. „Don‘t worry, Major. I‘ll keep my eyes and ears wide open.“

„I hope my parents are alright. I know, they agreed to play the diversion for me, but I‘m still worried.“

Kira turned to the Doctor.

„I don‘t think Sloan will be remotely interested in your parents. They don‘t know where you’re headed. They‘ll be incarcerated no doubt, but beyond that, he can‘t really hurt them. The Captain will make sure of that. You can trust me on this.“

Julian nodded and a small part of the tension left his body.

„Nerys, I can‘t thank you enough for this. Frankly, I‘m a bit surprised that you would put yourself – and with that Bajor – in jeopardy for me. Sorry, I‘m … thank you for doing this!“

„He called you an abomination.“ Kira looked Julian directly in the eye. „Believe me, I have met monsters. I know that you‘re not one of them. Bajorans know what it means to be treated as less than sentient, to be called an abomination too. To protect someone from the same fate is reason enough for me.“ And then – it seemed like an afterthought – she added: „Besides, we‘re at war. They can‘t afford to lose the wormhole or Bajor.“

Garak laughed and Kira glared at him, though, Julian noticed, not as deadly as she used to.

„I think you just enjoy flexing your muscles at the Federation.“

Kira raised one of her eyebrows and showed the Cardassian her teeth.

„Not just at the Federation, Garak. You better don‘t forget that.“

Martok gave her a hearty clap on her shoulder.

„I like you, Major, always keeping your enemies on their toes. You have the heart of a true warrior. And I am never wrong about these things. But now I think it is time for you all to go to the transporter. We have a tight schedule.“

 

***

 

Garak, Julian and Kira arrived in the Bajoran Ministrial residence seemingly without difficulties, which was a relief to the Cardassian. Edon Shakaar awaited them with a small security detail. The Major hugged the Bajoran First Minister and thanked him for helping them.

„It is nothing. Doctor Bashir has done much for Bajor and I‘m happy to return the favour.“ He turned to his two other guests. „Doctor Bashir, welcome to Bajor. Mr Garak. I hope I can trust you not to snoop around. Nerys has assured me that the Doctor‘s wellbeing is incentive enough for you to respect my boundaries.“

Garak bowed his head in a Cardassian show of respect.

„It is, First Minister. I wouldn‘t have gone through the trouble of breaking the good Doctor out of his confinement just to jeopardise his safety now.“

The Cardassian noticed Julian staring in awe and nudged him. This seemed to shake the Doctor out of his stupor and he remembered his manners.

„Thank you also from my part. I cannot tell you what this widespread support means for me.“

Shakaar put a hand on the Human‘s shoulder.

„Don‘t mention it. Have you been informed of our proposal?“

Julian shook his head and Shakaar turned his head to Kira and Garak to glare at them. The Cardassian‘s neck turned a bit darker in shame. This was it. The moment he had been dreading since the Major had proposed – why did he have to use this word – this plan of action.

„We hadn‘t had the time yet.“ Kira‘s voice seemed to come from a great distance and Garak had to internally shake himself to come back to the present.

Kira took the Doctor to one of the couches and had sat him down.

„Are you familiar with Bajoran marriage customs, Doctor?“

Julian raised both his eyebrows.

„Not particularly. Leeta mentioned a few times that Bajorans have several different forms of unions depending on the purpose of the relationship.“

Shakaar had followed them to the couch but remained standing.

„That is correct. A Bajoran can enter a number of unions with different people. The _pagh-talun_ , the union of souls, is the most equal to your romantic marriage but it can include more than two persons. _Shat‘shal-talun_ describes a union that wishes to produce children. In old times this was the only marriage that was morally accepted but it put a lot of pressure on young people and their reproductive choices. Nowadays it‘s mostly a contract which covers the duties and responsibilities to the children and sometimes to each other.“

Garak was watching the Doctor‘s face. It showed a mixture between genuine curiosity and confusion.

„I think maybe it‘s time to get to the point“, said the Cardassian – not being able to hide his discomfort entirely.

The Major glared at him but continued:

„There is a special type of union for protection. _Kejamat-talun_ is designed to help gain people Bajoran citizenship in a fast and undisputable way. By entering _kejamat_ one agrees to protect Bajor and it‘s interests and in return gains the full rights of a citizen. It dates from before the Occupation and funnily a few Cardassian dissidents found a safe place from the Union in a _kejamat_. The Bajoran party of the union symbolises the bond to our planet and our customs but has no claim to a romantic or sexual relationship if the other person doesn‘t wish for it.“ At this point Kira sought out Garak‘s eyes and stared pointedly at him. „This part is important. A Bajoran cannot force their _kej‘ma_ – the protected party - to anything they do not consent to. And in such a case the _kej‘ma_ has the right to dissolve the union without any fear of losing their citizenship status.“

„So, you propose, I marry a Bajoran to gain citizenship?“ Garak looked to Julian and saw his bewildered expression.

„I propose _kejamat-talun_ between you and myself, yes. A completely platonic union with only one obligation: You continue to serve Bajor as a Doctor“, said Kira.

„I know this proposal must come as a bit of a shock to you. Bajorans see unions a lot more casually than Klingons or Cardassians do“, said Shakaar and touched the Major on the shoulder to signal her to stand up. „Why don‘t you sit down, eat a bite and think about our proposal, Doctor? The paperwork still needs a bit of tending to. We‘ll leave you and your friend to clean up a bit – the facilities are behind the door on the left – and return when all the details are ready, so you can read them over.“

Kira squeezed Julian‘s hand and stood up to follow Shakaar out of the room.

Garak shook himself and gave the Doctor his best customer service smile.

„Why don‘t you take a shower while I order us something at the replicator.“

He knew that the Doctor saw right through his façade but he needed a few minutes to compose himself. Julian narrowed his eyes at him but thankfully the prospect of a shower was enough incentive to leave the matter for now.

„Alright. I could use a good scrubbing and a few minutes to digest this bomb Nerys just dropped on me. But don‘t think I haven‘t noticed your reaction.“

„My, what a colourful language standard is.“

„Of all the things to take out of that sentence.“ Julian rolled his eyes fondly and kissed the tailor‘s chufa.

Not really able to hide his affection for the Doctor completely Garak shoved him towards the shower.

„Go, you stink of mammalian sweat.“

Julian wiggled his eyebrows. „You love it.“ With that he disappeared into the shower.

Garak sighed and let himself fall against the wall.

„It seems I do.“

One tear left his eye. He was on the verge of losing the first person he had truly cared for in years and who – for unfathomable reasons seemed to return his affections – to … _Bajor_. How would he ever survive that? What had he done that this planet kept taking from him? Garak had to cover his mouth to stop a sob escaping. If Tain could see him now, he would taunt him for his lack of decorum. The Cardassian felt his breathing rate speed up and the walls closing in. No, he couldn‘t lose it now. Julian needed him. What had the Doctor told him in the camp? Breathe in and breathe out slowly. Garak repeated that advice like a mantra, till his breathing had calmed. Then he turned to the replicator and ordered a meal for Julian. At least it was something to do.

 

***

 

Julian stood under the shower. He hadn‘t indulged in the luxury of a water shower for a while, preferring the sonic setting on the station. But right now he needed the feeling of water on his skin, washing away the grime and sweat of the last days. Marriage. To Nerys of all people. He was overwhelmed by the occurrences of the last days, no months. It seemed as if time had sped up and dragged him through crisis to crisis. And the only constant – at least to a certain extent – was a Cardassian not-tailor with a tendency for self-sacrifice. Not this time! With a new sense of determination Julian cleaned his hair and body and towelled himself dry. Somebody had laid out a Bajoran civilian outfit that he put on.

When he left the shower room, he found Garak sitting on one of the couches, the Cardassian‘s face unreadable. On a side table stood a covered plate with cutlery.

„Is that for me?“ Garak nodded.

Julian sat down and lifted the covering of the plate. It seemed to contain a hearty stew. The smell was delicious.

„Why don‘t you clean up a bit, replicate yourself fresh clothes while I eat. I‘m famished.“ Again Garak just nodded and wordlessly went to the replicator. Julian felt eerily reminded of the day before he went to Captain Sisko‘s office, when his friend had found him at the port hole. Now their roles seemed reverse. Well, he would give Garak time till after the shower and then they would talk like adults about whatever this was between them.

The Cardassian didn‘t take long in the shower room and the fact that he didn‘t comment the lack of clothing variety in the replicator worried Julian.

„I see, the incarceration hasn‘t diminished your appetite or your eating speed.“ At least his eating habits hadn‘t escaped Garak‘s attention. Julian grabbed his friend‘s hand and made him sit beside him.

„Did you know what they were planning?“

The Doctor wasn‘t in the mood for the tailor‘s usual games. Garak sighed and nodded.

„And? Are you okay with me gaining Bajoran citizenship? Especially in this manner?“

The Cardassian gave him his best customer service smile.

„Of course, my Dear. Why should I not be?“

Julian growled in frustration. „Are you sure?“ He grabbed Garak‘s hand. „Because what means my freedom if I can‘t share it with you?“

The Cardassian‘s façade started to crumble and he averted his gaze.

„You must know by now, that your safety is more important to me than my own happiness. Besides, I‘m not good for you.“

Julian sighed and laid his head on his friends shoulder.

„You know what? I think you‘re just a glutton for punishment.“

Garak turned his head abruptly and hissed:

„I will not jeopardise your chances for safety, Julian!“

The Doctor touched the Cardassian‘s face gently with his fingertips.

„Garak … Elim, you know that I care for you. An awful lot. When I saw you in the internment camp I first thought that I was hallucinating your presence but … you were really there. In that moment I couldn‘t remember any of the reasons why I shouldn‘t feel anything more for you than friendship. And when we finally escaped I swore to myself that I wouldn‘t wait another five years to tell you about my feelings. So, your happiness matters to me.“

Garak stared into Julian‘s eyes, seemingly looking for something. The Human hoped that his sincerity and his affection were plainly visible. Suddenly, overwhelmed by emotion, Garak embraced his friend. Julian couldn‘t help but smile and returned the hug.

„My dear, I felt certain, that I had lost my limited chances with you after our spy adventure on the holodeck, and of course my decision to destroy the homeworld of the Founders didn‘t really endear me to you either.“

Julian nodded.

„I was so angry at you after the incident on the holodeck. You made me that person who takes the risk to shoot their friend to make a point because they know they won‘t miss. This power was exhilarating and for a moment I thought _they_ were right. It seemed, that it was only a matter of time till I became the next Khan and I hated you for bringing that side of me out.“ He sighed. „I was more angry at you for this than when you decided to kill an entire race. That really makes me sound like Khan Noonien Singh, doesn‘t it? Aside the fact that I don‘t condone genocide I could understand why you thought it was the right course of action. More so than in the spy program. You wanted to protect your homeworld - hell - the whole Alpha quadrant against an overwhelming threat. And in the end all of your fears came true. Cardassia has fallen and the whole quadrant is fighting for its survival. But I‘m really glad that you didn‘t succeed. Not only for your sanity but also for me. I would‘ve died without being able to do this.“

With that Julian leaned in and kissed the tailor who had wormed his way into his heart. Stealthily and without him really noticing till it was too late. For the eternity of a second Garak remained still, but then he kissed back. When they had to separate to for air both of them were flushed. Julian’s face morphed into a radiant smile before leaning in to kiss the infuriating man again. And again.

 

***

 

Kira Nerys scrolled through the padd while she was on her way back to the lounge where she and Shakaar had left Julian and Garak. She really hoped that they had taken the time to talk. Properly. While she honestly doubted the Doctor‘s sanity for falling for Garak of all people, she couldn‘t help but smile about these two. Men. There were reasons why she sometimes preferred female company to that of men. It was easier to talk to women without suddenly feeling weak. It also was one of the reasons why she and Shakaar had decided to end their romantic entanglement especially in the light of their long friendship. He was a loyal friend, something she appreciated greatly, specifically in a situation like the one they had found themselves now.

Nerys stopped at the entryway and just wanted to announce her presence when she heard Garak say:

„I have been many people, Doctor, but I think I never liked any of my roles as much as being this plain and simple tailor...“

Kira grinned. It was a shame that Jadzia wasn‘t here with her.

„Really? Not even the gardener on Romulus?“

She heard Garak laugh. „Especially the gardener on Romulus! He had abysmal taste in literature!“

The Bajoran Major peaked into the room and saw the two of them on one of the couches just as Julian looked mock worried at Garak who seemed to shiver at the thought of the gardener on Romulus.

„Garak, are you cold? Bajoran spring on the Peghan continent can be very chilly.“

Kira raised her eyebrow. Really, Julian?

„Why Doctor, are offering to warm me up?“

Nerys could see Julian‘s smirk in her mind.

„I could be your personal thermal blanket. By Doctor‘s orders...“

Okay, this was enough bad flirting for one day. Kira stepped into the room and cleared her throat.

„I hope you two have had time to clean up and eat something.“ She had the distinct impression that the Doctor murmured something about ‚not even making it to desert‘ but Kira chose to ignore that remark.

„Have you decided, Julian?“, she asked with a neutral expression on her face.

„Yes, I have.“ Julian stood up. When Garak didn‘t immediately follow, he grabbed his hand and pulled him up. He aggressively kept their hands together even though the Cardassian tried to pry his away as soon as he stood.

„I will accept your proposal under one condition.“

Kira raised an eyebrow.

„I guess this condition has something to do with Garak?“

The Doctor‘s eyes widenend.

„Ahem… yes. How did you know?“

Kira snorted while Garak rolled his eyes expressively.

„You mean beside offering being his ‘personal thermal blanket’ and holding his hand right now?“

The Doctor squeaked indignantly.

„You were listening to our conversation?“

„Julian, I recognise Cardassian flirting unlike most of Starfleet and I know you. This arrangement is for your safety and while I can‘t really account for your taste in partners, I would never begrudge anyone their happiness. I know what it means to have nothing and how much every shred of intimacy or love – in whatever form it comes – is worth. So, as long as your paramour swears an oath to protect Bajor against any threats that seek to destroy it, I don‘t see a problem.“

Garak narrowed his eyes.

„You ask me to prioritise Bajor over Cardassia?“

Kira stared the Cardassian directly in his eyes.

„No. I ask you to put Julian over a Cardassia led by Gul Dukat and the Founders. To be a friend to Bajor when that changes.“

Julian gasped. „I can‘t ask that of you...“, but Garak put his hand over the Human’s mouth, stopping his talking without breaking the eye contact with the Major.

„Dear, this is between me and the Major. I accept these terms.“

With that he took his hand away from Julian’s face and bowed with his hand on his heart. Kira knew what that meant. She had his respect and his allegiance. A genuine smile appeared on her face and she returned the gesture.

Julian stared at both of them and shook his head.

„Somehow I think I lack the cultural matrix to understand what just happened.“

„You don’t need to worry yourself, dear. I think we have a _shalla-talun_ to get to.“

Garak patted his arm and Julian glared at him. Kira fondly rolled her eyes. These two were ridiculous. She couldn‘t wait to tell Jadzia all about it. For now she offered Julian her arm.

„Garak‘s right. Let‘s get married.“

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talun means “union” in the sense of sharing your life together in Bajoran and the word as well as the cultural matrix are my invention. I didn’t follow any rules for that, I just made the words up, so… Just for the linguists around here, there’s literally not more for it. I used some of the official words form the Fandom Wiki page about Bajoran, the rest is all my brain farts.


	4. Chapter four - Do No Harm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part was betaed by the lovely [Bluemeany](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluemeany/pseuds/Bluemeany), thank you so much for your help with my many typos!
> 
> This fic mentions characters from "A Stitch in Time", which I haven't read yet. So it's obviously not compliant
> 
> Last but not least a big thank you to all the lovely people who wrote comments and left kudos. I appreciate each and every one of you! I hope to finish this story till the end of the year but I won't promise that since life is what happens when you make plans.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own these characters and worlds, they would make different decisions if I did. No money made.

 

_Dividual personhood – in contrast of individual personhood – can be “defined as ‘composite and multiply authored’_ _[...]_ _with each person composed of different elements out of multiple relationships with and among others; in this case a person can potentionally be altered internally by engaging in different relations” (Chris Fowler, Relational personhood revisited. Cambridge Archaeological Journal 26:3 (2016) 397-412; 398)._

               

The actual _shalla talun_ aspect of the _kejamat_ was not what Julian had imagined a wedding would be, much less his own. After First Minister Shakaar had determined that he and Kira Nerys were both present out of their own free will, the contract was again read through in front of the witnesses. To the Human‘s surprise nobody seemed to bat an eye at the paragraph about Garak and his promise. At the end of the ceremony Julian, Kira and Garak had to sign the contract to validate the _kejamat_ as well as the spoken promise. Their three witnesses – consisting of Shakaar and his two aides Maron Dal and Tasik Hetol – looked over the license and declared it effective. Julian felt as if he had just gotten married to two persons and a planet. The whole situation felt quite surreal but standing there, clinking glasses of springwine with Garak and Nerys, he felt truly content and happy.

„Jadzia‘s gonna be so angry that she missed this!“ laughed Kira.

Julian choked slightly on his springwine.

„Don‘t worry, my dear, they know why this is had to happen. And while Commander Dax was very sad that she would miss all this drama – her words not mine – she had us promise to host a reception as soon as your situation is cleared.“

Garak laid his hand on the doctor‘s neck and massaged the tense flesh gently. Finally Julian‘s could stop coughing.

„That wasn‘t why I choked, Garak. Are Miles and Jadzia aware of the whole agreement? That it includes you?“

Garak raised an eye ridge but before he could answer, Nerys took the word.

„No, but I assure you, I‘ll make them understand your decision and have them respect your choice.“

Julian had to blink away his tears. He grabbed Kira‘s hand and squeezed it affectionately.

„Thank you, Nerys. I will never forget this. You were actually the last person I expected to be accepting of my feelings for Garak.“

„Don‘t mention it. You‘re not the only one who learned to see the world differently in the last five years. Liking or at least respecting a few Cardassians because of their actions is not a betrayal towards Bajor nor does it negate the suffering caused by the occupation. But it helps to walk towards a better future where something like the Cardassian Occupation of Bajor will not ever be tolerated again.“

She chuckled slightly manically.

„But don‘t worry, there‘s no chance in hell I‘m ever going to like Dukat. And if I ever seem to, please kill me because I‘ve obviously gone completely mad.“

Julian laughed and laid his arm around his Cardassian companion, while he kept his other hand on Nerys‘s arm. Garak seemed to melt into the Doctor‘s embrace and smiled at the two people he was now bound to.

„I‘m glad that we can agree on that one thing, Major. _Vasha_ ‘ll melt before Dukat becomes a decent being.“

Kira grinned and touched her right eyebrow with two fingers in agreement.

„You two really need to teach me that ‚second tongue‘ stuff you keep doing. It‘s like you‘re using a secret language.“

Kira and Garak just laughed at the Doctor while he pouted.

***

Kira had just gone to refill her glass again when Shakaar took her to the side.

„I just got a message from General Martok. He has apprehended the freighter with the Doctor‘s parents. It‘s time to lay down the cards on the table – as the Humans say.“

The Major nodded.

„Are you sure, you want to be there when I talk to Sisko, Edon? There‘s no need to involve you.“

Shakaar smirked.

„Somebody needs to reign you in, Nerys. Besides the Federation had it coming. While I like Sisko personally – not only because he‘s the Emissary – he‘s not the regular Federation Commander, he‘s the exception. Things need to change for us, especially now with the Cardassian Dominion Alliance.“

Kira squeezed his arm in thanks.

„Let‘s get this over with.“

The two Bajorans left the lounge to step into one of the Ministerial offices. After they had seated themselves, Kira hailed Deep Space Nine. It took about half a minute till Sisko answered. He seemed to be in his office.

„ _Major? I thought you were on board the Rotarran. What are you doing on Bajor?_ “

„Excuse me, Captain, but before I answer your question I need to make sure we‘re not listened to. Is this a secure channel?“

Kira saw on the screen how the Captain typed a few keys on the console.

„ _It is now._ “ Sisko‘s face showed a mixture between confusion and annoyance. „ _I guess, the Musketeers‘ plan worked?“_

Kira smiled and nodded. The Captain of Deep Space Nine seemed to allow himself a few seconds to enjoy the news about his Chief Medical Officer‘s predicament before his voice became serious again.

„ _It won‘t take long till Sloan comes after you. He‘s like a dog with a bone._ “

Shakaar butted in on the conversation.

„Captain, Doctor Bashir is a Bajoran citizen as of now. I wouldn‘t recommend to try and kidnap one of our own.“

„ _I hope this citizenship is air tight because Sloan isn‘t going to back down so easily. He probably won‘t accept it._ “

Kira leaned forward on the table towards the screen.

„He better accepts it because Bajor won‘t just sit idle while the Federation breaks the treaty. Neither will I let anyone hurt my _kej‘ma_! He‘s now my spouse and I take that very seriously.“

„ _Excuse me, Major, I think there was a connection problem. It seemed as if you said Doctor Bashir is your husband._ “

Kira stared determined into the screen. „I called him my spouse, yes.“

„ _One can‘t just marry someone for citizenship. Marriage should be a celebration of the love of two people._ “

The Major felt her temper raising.

„For you maybe, but we Bajorans do not share that feeling. More importantly, the institution of the _kejamat_ has a long and honoured tradition. On Bajor you can marry someone for citizenship. And Doctor Bashir just did!“

Sisko seemed taken aback for a moment. Then he sighed deeply.

„ _Well, I guess congratulations are in order?“_

Kira bowed her head in acceptance. He was trying, she could see it.

„ _Still, this will cause a major diplomatic incident. And I just know someone who‘s exceptionally well suited to speak on Bajor‘s behalf. I only fear Constable Odo isn‘t going to like it._ “

Shakaar looked confused to Kira, while the Major smiled painfully.

„If you think that a good idea...“

Sisko‘s smile morphed into a shark like grin.

„ _Oh, Ambassador Troi has a weak spot for our little station. I‘m sure she‘ll help. She enjoys a good challenge. And weddings._ “

„I just hope she doesn‘t get another fever“, muttered Kira.

Sisko laughed before he became serious again.

„ _Keep the Doctor safe, Major. I‘ll go and inform Sloan of this new development. Sisko out._ “

Kira groaned while Shakaar grinned and said: „That actually went better than I thought.“

The Major glared at him. Edon shook his head and offered her his arm.

„Let‘s go back to the party. We should enjoy it while we still can.“

Kira sighed again and linked her arm with his.

„You‘re right. Let‘s go back before Julian and Garak get suspicious and start spying. You really don‘t want to see that. It‘s embarrassing, believe me.“

***

The next few days were suspiciously uneventful. It seemed as if their enemy had granted them a reprieve. But Garak didn‘t trust the calm. Something wasn‘t right. The news from the station indicated that Sloan didn‘t know who orchestrated the escape. The Doctor‘s parents were in custody but nothing else. At least that was what the Major had told them. Never before had Garak hated a promise as much as the one he had given Shakaar. Not even his fledgling relationship with Julian could help him relax. And right now the Doctor had insisted on some time alone to shower without a distraction and a few hours to catch up on his medical readings. While Garak could understand the need for solitude, he also realised how few friends he had. It made him miss Ziyal and the Constable. He tried to imagine their reactions to their new marital status. Odo would understand, probably. Hopefully. At the very least the Constable would let him ‚help‘ protect Julian. In contrast to the Major and the Bajoran security detail. The Cardassian couldn‘t stand the thought of leaving control over his and his partner‘s safety to other people. It made him feel useless. He should really talk with the Major again. This was his domain of expertise after all.

While he sneaked through the chambers that had been provided for them in the Ministerial residence for the time being, he thought about the decisions that had lead him here. He had finally betrayed Cardassia. The thought made him nauseous. He could almost hear Tain‘s laughter in his mind.

_Sentiment, Elim, it has always been your biggest weakness. I gave that gardener too much freedom._

Garak shook himself. „You have no power over me anymore, Tain.“ Maybe saying it out loud made it actually true. It was one of the perks of being an excellent liar. He could just as easily lie to himself as he could to others. Besides Tain‘s Cardassia had stopped being his the day he had seen Batal.

Kelas Parmak once told him - a lifetime ago, a quivering mess in an interrogation chamber - with a conviction similar to how Garak felt about Cardassia: “One day you’ll realise that the end does not always justify the means.” Tain’s son just continued to stare at him till the man broke. But Elim, the boy who had loved Tolan and his garden, who had been locked into a closet a few times too much, that boy had listened. There was only one day Elim and Tain’s son had been one. The day they stepped into Vasha itself. They met the devil and the devil wielded a scalpel.

All his life Garak had been molded by Mila, by Tain, even by Tolan. A rag doll, always ruptering at the seams, torn apart by different people. Except one. Julian. Who had stopped trying to change him despite his nature. Garak remembered the Doctor smiling at him over a table in the replimat.

„ _Even the lies?“_

„ _Especially the lies!“_

But he still tried to mold the Doctor, didn‘t he? After the holodeck incident Garak had thought he had stopped. They were very similar, more than both of them had thought. But what if he never stopped? Garak froze inside. What if his molding was the only reason Julian wanted to be with him? What if...?

Garak‘s spiraling thoughts were interrupted by the sound of breaking glass coming from the room next door. Without wasting any time to think he stormed through the door. What he saw made his blood freeze. Julian was fighting of a creature in a dark suit of armor. The Cardassian cursed. Major Kira had made him give up his disruptor. And his back up phaser.

His focus came back to his partner who was slowly overpowered by his assailant. Garak didn‘t think anymore and attacked. With difficulty he managed to wrestle the figure away from the Doctor. They were a lot stronger than the Cardassian anticipated. The former spy was able to deliver a few well aimed Ch'Vashrek strikes but the assailant was extremely resilient and versed in different forms of martial arts. Their next attack was vicious. Garak nearly missed the hidden knife they yielded. He managed to dodge a few strikes but he knew he wouldn‘t hold out much longer.

Julian came into the Cardassian‘s view. The Doctor had found his breath again and seemed to be trying to activate the comm system. It didn‘t appear to be operational. Dampening field no doubt.

Garak searched his partner‘s eyes and locked on to his gaze. He tried to convey his affection in that one look. Julian‘s eyes widened, realising what Garak was about to do. Then the Cardassian lowered his guard. The strike came instantaneously and its aim was true. He heard Julian screaming. As the knife plunged into his guts Garak grabbed his assailant‘s head and slammed his own into theirs. Surprised by the impact of the Cardassian‘s hard skull the figure swayed, but didn‘t go down. In that moment a chair crashed into the assailants head. It broke from the force of the impact. Finally the figure went down. Julian stood over them and slammed the chair into their face again. Garak stared at Julian and smiled, proud of his partner. And then he slumped down to the floor.

„GARAK!“

Julian‘s voice came to him like through thick cotton.

„Garak, no! Stay with me!“

Garak lifted his hand to the Doctor‘s face, so close to his. And then everything went dark.

***

Julian was frantic. Garak had lost consciousness and was bleeding out rapidly. And there was no med kit in the vicinity. Or rather, he couldn‘t remember where it was. This had never happened before. In this moment Kira and two members of the Bajoran militia stormed into the room.

„HELP!“ Julian had never felt this helpless. Garak‘s life was seeping through his fingers and they stood there doing nothing.

„He‘s dying! I need a med kit, now!“

The Human blocked out what was happening around him and shifted his focus completely to his injured boyfriend. Where was that med kit? Suddenly there was another hand on Garak.

„What the …?“ Julian looked up and saw four Bajoran medical personnel. He immediately changed into his doctor persona.

„He has been knifed in the abdomen. I suspect that his secondary spleen and part of his digestive systems have been ruptured.“

The Bajorans had already started with the first aid procedures and tried to stop the bleeding.

„Inject the coagulant, now!“ One of the Bajoran Paramedics held a hypospray to Garak‘s neck and injected it‘s contents.

„Sir?“ One of the paramedics addressed the Human and Julian tried to focus on him. „You need to take your hand away. We need to staunch the blood flow.“

Julian stared at him and realised that for the first time in his career as a Medical Officer, he wasn‘t able to perform his duties. The Bajoran medic seemed to realise that and knelt down next to him.

„I‘ll take over, ok? On three. One, two, and three.“ The medic‘s voice was calm and soothing. Julian managed to let go and the Bajoran took his place.

The Human Doctor felt his hands tremble. His hands covered in Garak‘s blood. Somebody touched his shoulder. A woman‘s voice said his name, but Julian didn‘t recognise her.

„You need to save him. You have to take care of him. I need him!“ His voice was shaken.

„Julian. You need to trust us. They will take good care of our friend.“ Nerys, it was Nerys who pulled him away from Garak.

„I can‘t lose him, Nerys. I‘ve already wasted so much time. I can‘t lose him.“

Kira embraced him.

„Don‘t worry. They know what they‘re doing.“

Julian mumbled into her shoulder.

„But he‘s a Cardassian...“

„You need to trust that we‘re better than them.“

She rubbed his back soothingly. Julian nodded and clung to Kira while the medical team transported Garak out of the room. One of the Doctors had stayed behind and came over to the Major and the Human to explain the next steps. The young man named Bepye just managed to convince Julian that they would treat Garak with the same care as any Bajoran when they heard a choking sound. The three turned and saw the security team who had taken over the handling of the assailant. A paramedic was trying to stop the body from convulsing.

„I need help here. The whole body is shutting down!“ she cried.

Julian sprinted over together with Medtech Bepye and came face to face with his attacker.

„She‘s Human!“ exclaimed Julian surprised. He didn‘t know what he had expected, but it hadn‘t been the young blonde woman who lay before him.

Without thinking much more about it he took the scanner from the paramedic and checked the readings. What he saw made his blood freeze.

„You‘re right. Something activated a chemical reaction in her blood and hormonal system. It caused a shutdown of all the major organs. Not only that, it seems that her cells are consuming each other. As if to completely destroy the body.“ Julian paused. Her DNA readings were familiar. Of course! „We need to get her into a stasis pod now! Otherwise her whole body will be destroyed within the next ten minutes!“

Why was it so much easier to focus on her than on Garak? No, that was not a thought for now, it had to wait till later.

„Bepye to infirmary. Prepare a stasis tube now. We‘ll arrive shortly with an extremely unstable patient. Initiate site to site transport of four.“

The Bajoran Doctor‘s voice stopped Julian‘s musings. He turned to Kira.

„I‘ll make sure she survives. She‘s no mere assassin, she‘s an augment. Like me.“ Kira‘s eyes widened in surprise. Julian continued: „We‘re gonna need answers from her. But first we need to find out what happened.“

The Major nodded.

„Go. I‘ll coordinate things here to see if we can find any evidence or trace of who sent her here and how she managed to sneak inside. I‘ll meet you in the infirmary as soon as I know more.“

Julian squeezed her arm and then turned back to the paramedic and Bepye, who just said:

„Energise!“

***

Lwaxana arrived with a small entourage, only Mr. Homn and Timicin, her small son. After a short welcome by Captain Sisko, she took her son to reintroduce him to Odo. While the Betazoid woman wouldn‘t have returned so soon on her own accord she was glad that she was back. This station was a special place. She needed to tell Deanna to meet her for a few leave days. Lwaxana was sure, her older daughter would have liked it Deep Space Nine too. Many of the principles the Federation stood for were lived here. She just hoped, that they could stay true to those principles in the years to come.

Lwaxana finally arrived at Odo‘s office as a blond Human man left the Constable‘s station. His demeanour was smug on the verge of arrogant with a very cold edge. He stared right into the Betazoid Ambassador‘s eyes, bowed and left. Lwaxana was thoroughly surprised by his mental control. Only people who had serious training were able to shield their thoughts this completely. Evil tongues would say everyone deserves privacy of one‘s mind and contrary to her reputation the Ambassador respected mental walls. But this man didn‘t just have walls, his whole mind was a snowed in bunker. The minute she had spent in his vicinity was enough to send shivers down her spine.

„Lwaxana, I didn‘t know you were coming.“

Odo had come out of his office and had addressed the Ambassador. Lwaxana shook the herself inconspicuously and turned to the Constable.

„Your Captain requested my assistance and in return I asked him to let me surprise you.“

Odo grumbled unintelligibly.

„Odo, my dear friend. Come here.“

She pulled into a warm hug, mindful of the infant sleeping in the sling she wore. The Constable – as always when he was in her presence – seemed overwhelmed. He disengaged himself from her embrace. Lwaxana laughed fondly at the familiar awkwardness.

„Let‘s go into your office. I want to introduce you to Timicin.“

Odo stared at the infant and then back at Lwaxana.

„Is that?“

„Yes, that is my boy.“

A genuine smile graced Odo‘s face and he stepped aside to let Lwaxana pass into his office space. The Ambassador sat down in the Constable‘s chair and distangled her sling. Odo observed her very attentively.

„He‘s bigger than on the picture you sent me.“

„Timcin has grown quite a bit since then. At this stage they grow incredibly fast.“

Lwaxana smiled warmly at her child.

„I‘m really happy to see you, Lwaxana.“

Odo offered his once wife his hand which she took.

„So am I, Odo. So I am.“

In that moment Lwaxana felt at peace. Her love for Odo was still the same but she realised the genuine affection the Changeling held for her – while not the same as her‘s – was just as precious. It seemed as some of her talks with Deanna had impacted her more than expected. Se needed to have a stern talk with her daughter about counseling family members. It was not healthy.

Timicin woke her out of her musings as he started fussing.

„Oh, you realised Uncle Odo was here and you couldn‘t wait to meet him, could you?“

The Changeling looked entranced at the baby.

„Do you want to hold him?“

Odo stared wide eyed at the Betazoid woman.

„I couldn‘t possibly...“

„Nonsense!“

Lwaxana took the child out of the sling and showed Odo how to hold him.

„See, there you go.“

She smiled at the two of them and the Constable raised his eyes which sparkled with wonder. They stayed like that for a while. Odo entertaining the infant and Lwaxana observing them. The world would call them back soon enough.

***

               

Julian sat next to Garak‘s biobed, waiting for the Cardassian to wake up. The Bajoran doctor‘s had assured the Human that Garak was stabilised. But Julian couldn‘t bring himself to concentrate on anything besides sitting at his partner‘s bedside. The assailant was in stasis now, not much more could be done till the experimental procedure he and Medtech Bepye had devised was completed, which would take a few hours. So there was nothing to distract him from Garak‘s broken body. For the first time in his life Julian truly understood why doctors shouldn‘t have to treat their loved ones. While it didn‘t always come easy to him to compartmentalise when his friends were hurt, he had always prided himself for his calm demeanor and his focus for the job. Seeing Garak being stabbed – intentionally even – had shook Julian more than he cared to admit.

A groan from the biobed pulled Julian from his musings.

„Garak. It‘s me. How do you feel?“

He hunkered over his partner.

„Thirsty...“

The Cardassian‘s voice sounded painstakingly dry.

„Yes, yes.“

Julian grabbed a water cup with a straw from the replicator. Garak only managed to drink a few sips before collapsing on the pillow again. He observed the Human through heavy lidded eyes.

„You look terrible, my dear.“

Julian snorted but kissed his partner‘s hand.

„You don‘t look that peachy either. No offense.“

“None taken. I feel as if my whole digestive system has been overhauled by Chief O‘Brien.“

Julian shook his head at Garak‘s dramatics. Had he always found that trait charming? The relief the Doctor felt as well as his fondness for this particular Cardassian made it difficult for Julian to take on a stern look.

„That is in short what happened. They had to remove your secondary spleen and parts of your bowel tract. Wait, I‘m going to call your Doctor.“

Garak stared at him incredulously.

„Don‘t look at me like that. Seeing you bleeding on the floor is what makes my brain go numb apparently.“

Julian tried to mask the lump that was again forming in his throat with sarcasm. Then he stood up to call for Doctor Jentall manually to bring a bit of distance between himself and Garak.

„Julian.“

Tears started to cloud his vision and the Doctor tried to blink them away but not turning around.

„Come back please.“

A loud sob escaped and not even the shame Julian felt couldn‘t keep him away from his partner. In long strides he returned to the bed and embraced Garak.

„You were right. Sentiment is a curse.“

„Stop spouting nonsense. Not even on Cardassia are doctors forced to operate on their family.“

Julian looked up to the Cardassian‘s face and studied it for a moment.

„I have no idea if you‘re lying or not.“

Garak smiled smugly. Before the Human could chide him for being an arse, they were interrupted by the arrival of Doctor Jentall. The elderly Bajoran woman was a no-nonsense Doctor with a gruffy bedside manner but Julian liked her. One could see that she cared for her patients even the rude Cardassian ones.

„He‘ll be fine. Mr Garak‘s a sturdy one and I‘m sure you‘ll observe his recuperation process closely, Doctor Bashir.“ she told him after the examination. Garak huffed in the background.

„Oh, don‘t worry, I will.“

Julian hugged her impulsively.

„Thank you so much for saving him.“

She gently disengaged from his embrace and smiled softly.

„No need for that, dear. It‘s what we Doctors are here for aren‘t we?“

Julian nodded and Doctor Jentall squeezed his arm once in support before she left the two of them alone again. Taking one deep breath the Human returned to his partner‘s bedside. Garak touched his his cheek, seemingly to wipe away the trails left by Julian‘s tears.

„You nearly died. Who knows, maybe you did die on that operation table. I didn‘t ask. All I know is that I nearly lost you and I didn‘t know how to help you...“

„Julian, I had to protect you. Someone wanted to take you away from here. The only thing I knew was that I wouldn‘t… no, couldn‘t let them take you. Who knows what they would‘ve done to you.“

The Human buried his face into Garak‘s shoulder.

„I know. But the thought of losing you is just as bad as the prospect of being experimented on.“

Julian felt the Cardassian freeze up and raised his head. He hadn‘t expected the anger he saw there.

„Garak?“

There was no answer but the Cardassian pulled at his partner‘s frame and the Human climbed onto the bed. For quite some time they stayed like that, clinging on to each other.

„I believed it too, once.“

Garak‘s voice was calm, but soft. Julian changed his position to have a line of sight to his partner‘s face.

„Hm?“

„I thought as long as one served the State you were safe. Especially from a fate like the one this Mr Sloan intended for you. But one day I saw a Cardassian hero standing over the mutilated body of a hybrid child. He looked proud.“

Garak stopped talking for a moment looking at Julian.

„A good interrogator needs to be able to read people. And I recognised in that moment that this man didn‘t see a child or even a sentient being. He saw something to prod, test and do whatever he pleased with. Something for him to test his hypotheses with because he enjoyed it but also because he felt entitled to it by his status as a scientist. And I knew he wouldn‘t stop at Bajorans or hybrids – as if that excused his experiments, his butchery. At this time he already was a highly decorated Doctor.“

Julian was entranced and appalled by Garak‘s tale. There was a hint of shame in the Cardassian‘s tone of voice that never had been palpable ever before. As if the perfect picture he had always painted of his homeworld was showing small cracks for the first time.

„You must know, Doctor, that Cardassians of my generation were raised on the belief that the occupation was necessary for our very survival but most of them never set a foot on Bajor. They never saw the labor camps or execution fields. Ignorance is easier than to think about the fact that we were committing genocide. I am not saying this to gather pity but to set the stage for the next act.

It had become obvious that the Bajorans were far more resourceful and intelligent than the supposed peasant people Central Command made them out to be. And our leaders came to realise that fact far too late. At the point I was sent to Bajor – the reason is not important – I was already aware of this. One would think after my years in the order the sight of mutilated children wouldn‘t shock me. But it did. As did the look in Crell Moset‘s eyes.

I told Tain. And he took the report, thanked me for my thoroughness, dismissed me. Foolishly I thought he would take care of it. Needless to say he didn‘t. Every child – Bajoran and Cardassian – that man killed after Batal is on my head.“

Garak laughed mirthlessly.

„At least I know there‘s one monster less in the world. The only reason Tain just banished me is Moset‘s own carelessness. He took the wrong „orphan“ - so to speak. The girl‘s father was a high functionary in the Military council. Saved by sentiment. Do you see the irony, Doctor?“

The room fell silent. Julian blinked not really knowing what to say. He wasn‘t sure what to make of this confession, but then he had always believed Garak more than he should‘ve. There was no doubt that he was capable of noble deeds but they didn‘t justified calling him a good man. But sometimes Julian saw a glimpse of his core and made him believe that the Cardassian was not only more sentimental than he wished to be but also more compassionate than many anticipated. There were things Garak wanted to atone for. Julian just wasn‘t sure if the Cardassian had accepted that yet.

„My yadik, Tolan – not Tain -, the man who raised me once told me someone who can kill Bajorans can just as easily kill Cardassians. I didn‘t believe him at the time. Now I know he was right.“

Garak touched Julian‘s cheek.

„I think he would‘ve liked you.“

The Human smiled.

„I‘m happy to hear that at least one of your parental figures would‘ve approved of me.“

„To be honest I think Tain respected you more than some of his friends“.

Julian pulled a disgusted face.

„Thank you for ruining the moment. I choose to believe that you made that up.“

A small bubble of laughter escaped Garak.

„Using my tactics against me. Very clever, my dear.“

A groan followed.

„Don‘t make me laugh, it hurts.“

Julian brushed his nose to the Cardassian‘s cheek.

„Good. Maybe you won‘t let yourself get stabbed next time.“

„I will always protect you. Though I prefer phaser burns.“

The Doctor rolled his eyes.

„Rest. We will argue about this another time. When both of us are uninjured preferably.

Garak nodded and yawned. Julian stayed with him, the steady drum of his partner‘s heartbeat lulling him to sleep as well.

 


End file.
